


Last Remembrances

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Series: March 2015 [1]
Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Wordcount: under 1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 09:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3686619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick's final thoughts, and they're of Ren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Remembrances

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first of ten fics I wrote last month, and wouldn't have seen the light of day without [you-think-youre-well-cool](http://you-think-youre-well-cool.tumblr.com/) kindly reading over it and telling me to post it.
> 
> (First posted 11/03/15)

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

If you are reading this anywhere other than my (theundeadsiren) tumblr, AO3 or livejournal, then please [let me know](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/ask/), including a link to where you found it, so I can take steps to have it removed. For a list of people given permission to use parts of my works, please see [here](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/permission).

Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

Rick loves Ren.  
  
He loves how, one the first day of school together, the scrawny kid with the big brown eyes looked over at him and came up to him during break and asked in such a soft, timid voice if they could be friends.  
  
Rick loves how, since that day, they were friends.  
  
He loves that, no matter who came or went, or what drama was happening that week, Ren was a constant in his life. Rick could always turn to his side and find Ren there, even if he himself sometimes got lost and wasn't always there when Ren turned to look for him.  
  
Rick regrets that: he regrets not being a better friend.  
  
He loves the unflinching honesty in everything Ren does and says, and the way he always refused to let people change him, no matter how hard they tried. Ren was always an outcast, and people never let him forget it, but Ren was always true to himself; he never pretended to be something he wasn't in order to fit in.  
  
Rick wishes he could stand up and proudly say the same.  
  
He loves the anger that blossomed in the face of adversity and discrimination; the way Ren refused to fade. He loved all those outfits, the way Ren carried himself, his taste in music and the way he glared at anyone who obviously judged him for who he was. Rick's own attempts to make people mind their own business always fell painfully short of what he wishes he'd been able to achieve.  
  
Rick is glad he tried, though.  
  
He loves how creative Ren is. He remembers smiling at the margins of pages of schoolwork, the covers of jotters, and the folders which were always covered in scribbles and doodles that each looked like a masterpiece to his eyes. Ren's hands were made for the pen and the brush, and Rick knows that there are still pages of doodles and drafts lying around Ren's room, as well as several paintings hanging proudly on canvases around the Walkers' home.  
  
Rick wishes he had been able to proudly display the gifts Ren had given him, rather than hide them away.  
  
He loves that Ren always made him feel accepted, no matter what. There is nothing he could talk to Ren about that Ren wouldn't listen to and try to help him with. It was easy to be friends with him, and to know that there was no need to pretend when they were together. Ren didn't ignore problems and sweep them out of sight and out of mind, and he didn't judge because of them; he was always open and honest with Rick.  
  
Rick feels awful when he thinks of the things he kept from Ren in the days before he left.  
  
He loves that, as the years went by, Ren became more and more beautiful. Rick had always known his friend was pretty - people were forever commenting on his eyes - but it's the way Ren went from being a scrawny kid to a tall, incredibly beautiful young man that makes Rick smile and his heart ache. There is nothing about Ren's body Rick can think of that he doesn't like: Ren's hair is a warm strawberry blonde, and somehow always smells sweet; his skin looks so pale and delicate, and flushes so easily with colour from exertion or embarrassment; his eyes are always so honest and expressive, framed by eyelashes anyone would be jealous of; his hands are slender and graceful, slightly at odds with the awkward long limbs Ren tries to keep close to his tall, slim frame; and his lips always somehow drew Rick's attention, looking so inviting as Ren talked, or breathed through parted lips, or chewed at that one spot on his lip he never could leave alone. Rick can recall every detail in piercing clarity, and knows he loves each part, but it's the whole that they make up he thinks is the most beautiful thing he's ever known.  
  
Rick is grateful that, in these last few minutes, the memories he has are so clear, and not faded or broken.  
  
He loves that Ren loves him. Even after all the time they'd known each other and despite all the things Ren knew about him, Ren still fell for Rick. Rick knows that Ren's love is loyal, fierce and unwavering, and that it is not easily won. He loves that Ren took the time to see something in him and think of Rick as someone worth falling in love with.  
  
Rick just wishes he knew what that something was.  
  
Lying here as the midday sun starts fading to black, Rick somehow knows that Ren still loves him, even after all he has done.  
  
Rick just wishes he had a chance to say 'I love you' back, in every way one person could possibly show another.  
  
Or, at the very least, 'thank you'.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always greatly appreciated <3


End file.
